The Sound of Hetalia
by XbehindtheseaX
Summary: Hetalia plus Sound of Music equals chaos! Feliciano, the pasta and music loving aspiring nun, is sent off to care for the strict Captain Ludwig von Trapp's seven children - Elizaveta, Matthew, Feliks, Ivan, Eduard, Toris and Raivis.
1. The Sound of Pasta

Feliciano Vargas laid himself out happily on the grass. It was a beautiful day, the mountains were picturesque. It made him forget he was quite possibly going to be late to Mass. He wasn't late yet, so he didn't worry, sinking deeper into the hillside.

Besides, as mentioned earlier, it was beautiful that day. The type of day where people sighed and watched the clouds, not bothered even if it was nearing time for Mass.

He sat up suddenly to stretch and yawn. He liked life at the abbey, he'd been there since childhood. He'd settled on the idea that this was all there was to life, that he would become a nun himself and live out the rest of his days with Mother Arthur, Sister Alfred and Sister Francis.

Yes, life had always been kind to him.

Well, except for the time Sister Francis had tried to get him to…

He shuddered and broke off the thought.

Feliciano smiled as he stood, his eyes watched over the Austrian countryside. There was such peace and routine to this life, it even made up for the fact that his favorite food was a rare treat at the abbey.

Which reminded him.

"THE HILLS ARE ALIVE! WITH THE SOUND OF PASTA!" He'd been very much wanting to say that.

No, he didn't say it, he sang it.

If there was anything he loved almost as much as pasta, it was music. He spent most of his free time on the hillside, singing and humming and doing things that generally annoyed the nuns. He'd be off for hours, rolling on the ground, dreaming about pasta, and making up songs. It was the core of his free-spirited existence. That and the hopes of someday being a nun. They were the reasons why he was a lighthearted, happy person who made good company.

He cleared his throat, prepared to sing to no one but the mountains.

"_The hills are alive with the sound of pasta_

_With songs they have sung for a thousand years_

_The hills fill my heart with the sound of pasta_

_My heart wants to sing every song it hears"_

He fell over in pure delight, writing the next verse in his head. He was prepared to stand up again to entertain the mountains, when he heard a piercing shout.

"GIT! YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE FOR MASS _AGAIN, _UNLESS YOU GET YOUR WORTHLESS ASS HERE RIGHT NOW, FELICIANO!"

The shout came from across the field, more importantly, from the loving, gentle, wise Mother Arthur.

"I'm sorry! I was singing!" He paused, thinking of a better excuse. "I was singing about _pasta_." He hurried his way over to the angry man, who was tsking in disapproval. He brushed off his dress as he ran, trying to at least look presentable.

"If I wasn't a servant of God, your Goddamn head would be separated from your fucking body!" He helped brush off the dirt. "I swear, do you have brain?" He looked at the boy, concerned and sincere this time. "I worry about you, kid."

Yes, a swearing nun. It was simply apart of his simple life.

"I'm fine, Mother Arthur. It's so lovely outside, I just felt like singing about pasta to the hills." He grinned a dreamy, far off grin and cocked his head to the side in a mindless manner.

"God, help the kid, he certainly is an interesting piece of Your work." Mother Arthur looked to the sky shaking his head. "C'mon." He sighed at the hopeless boy. "We're almost late. Because you HAD to sing about bloody pasta."

"Okay." He was disappointed, his afternoon of singing and dreaming had been canceled.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

_First off, I don't own Hetalia or the Sound of Music, even though I love them both. _

_This is co-written/formulated by my BFF raeboy, who wants me to mention that we're not so stupid that we don't know nuns are always women. But in the end, it was decided that we'd rather they were nuns instead of monks because, really, it's a lot funnier. _

_This isn't an average chapter, they're usually longer. I tried to put more in, but it just wasn't working and the scene had to end at SOME point, so I decided make it too short instead of too long._

_I hope to post another soon =)_

_-Alison_


	2. Feliciano

"Hey, Feliciano! What's up!" Sister Alfred flashed him a thumbs up from across the hall. "What's got Mother Arthur in another mood?"

He turned to him, about ready to burst a vein. "I caught your little friend out in the field singing again. And he knew he was going to be late. Don't stick your damn nose everywhere, you brat."

"Jeez, Mom." He shrugged. "I didn't know."

"Alfred, I've told you this countless times, you refer to me as "Mother," okay? Not Mom."

"Yeah, but you call me your "child" and stuff, I figured it makes sense."

Mother Arthur gritted his teeth, imagining strangling the boy right there. "If I ever find an ax in this place, may God help you. C'mon, Feliciano." He started to lead the waving boy away.

"Seeya, Sister!" He smiled and bid his favorite nun goodbye.

Sister Alfred grinned in reply, waving back. "Okay."

* * *

_Later..._

"I like that kid." He later said to Mother Arthur. "Feliciano, I mean. He's fun."

"Alfred, my child-"

"See, there you go. Why can't I call you Mom?"

Sister Francis joined them. "_Mon cher_, you look wonderful today, Mother."

"Flattery will get you nowhere." He clenched his fist. "Honestly, can't you all behave yourselves?"

"I was simply complimenting you."

'I've known you too long to believe that. Quit imagining what's under my clothes and help me." He looked out the window to the field where Feliciano was dancing. "I don't know what to do with him anymore."

"There's nothing wrong with him, _Mother_." Sister Alfred sarcastically defined the word. "He's a little off, but there's nothing wrong him."

"That's not the point. I don't think we have a use for him. He isn't our type of material." Mother Arthur turned to face the other men, a little saddened. "I don't think he'd enjoy the life he's choosing."

"What do you expect us to do, throw him into the street?!"

"No, Sister Alfred, I thought perhaps…"

"What isn't there to like about this life? This is _merveilleux,_ surrounded by unsuspecting virgins all the time."

"SISTER FRANCIS!" He looked at the man in horror before continuing; "GODDAMN IT! CAN YOU IDIOTS JUST HEAR ME THROUGH?!"

They both looked up with full attention.

"I don't think he'd enjoy this life, he's just too free spirited. I think, maybe he needs a break on the outside." He looked out to the field again, where Feliciano was no doubt singing about pasta. "Don't get me wrong, he's a good kid." He took in a breath.

"_He climbs a tree and scrapes his knee_

_His dress has got a tear_

_He waltzes on his way to Mass_

_And whistles on the stair"_

"Nice vocals, Mother Arthur." Sister Alfred let out a howl of laughter.

"Yes, _tres bien_!" Sister Francis joined in the mockery.

"YOU INDIGNIFIED TWITS! I'M EXPRESSING MY CONCERN FOR THE BOY!"

"Bossy, bossy." They sneered in unison.

"_I hate to have to say it_

_But I very firmly feel_

_Feliciano's not an asset to the abbey."_

Mother Arthur smiled sadly, looking to see the reactions.

Surprisingly, Sister Alfred joined him.

"_I'd like to say something in his behalf_

_Feliciano makes me laugh!"_

There was general agreement between the three.

"_How do you solve a problem like Feliciano?_

_How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?_

_How do find a word that means Feliciano?"_

"_A flibbertijibbit!" _Mother Arthur sighed.

"_A will-o'-the whisp!"_ Sister Alfred continued.

Sister Francis smiled deviously before adding; "_Sexy."_

The rest of the trio paused, not wanting to imagine what wheels were turning in the Frenchman's head.

"Uhhhh…" They both stared, watching him gaze dreamily out into space. Eventually they began to ignore him and continue on.

"_Many a thing you know you'd like to tell him_

_Many a thing he ought to understand_

_But how do you make him stay_

_And listen to all you say_

_How do you hold a wave upon the sand?"_

Sister Francis returned to reality to join back in.

"_How do you solve a problem like Feliciano?_

_How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?_

_How do find a word that means Feliciano?"_

"_A flibbertijibbit!" _

"_A will-o'-the whisp!"_

"_Se-"_

"I think we all get the point." Mother Arthur stuck his hands in the air, waving them as a stop signal. "Are you honestly perverted, Sister, or is it an act?"

In reply, he simply smirked.

"Is that really a question?" Sister Alfred raised his eyebrows.

"No, it wasn't. It's no secret God gave him an overactive sex drive."

The said man grinned, baring all his teeth and some rather questionable intentions.

"Sisters, I want you to go get Feliciano for me. I need to speak to him."

"Okay, but before we go, I have a question."

"What, Sister Alfred?" The older man was beyond annoyed.

"I was gonna see if I could possibly not wear my dress-thingy. I'm gonna fry, it's 100 degrees out. And that would be a stupid waste of awesomeness."

"It's a sin to speak with a boastful tongue."

"It's a worse sin to _lie_, Mom."

"JUST HURRY UP AND GO GET THE BOY, YOU PROUD LITTLE GIT!"

"Jeez, jeez! Going!"

"And it's called a habit, smart one." He angrily mimicked him. "'Dress thingy'"

Sister Alfred wandered out with a day dreaming Sister Francis behind him.

Mother Arthur sank into a chair, a bit disappointed with the facts. The boy obviously wasn't meant for the abbey. He had a different purpose in life. He was a joy at times, an absolute pain in the ass at others. He had to go explore options outside life as a nun.

"_I hate to have to say it_

_But I very firmly feel_

_Feliciano's not an-"_

The whispered encore was interrupted by a rush of life into the room.

"Hi, Mother!"

"That was quick."

"They caught me on my way back up. I picked flowers!" He excitedly laid an assortment on the table. "Those are for you."

"Thank you." Mother Arthur stood, avoiding eye contact. He gathered the stems in one hand while using the other to stroke the petals. "Damn it, you've got a pure heart. That makes this hard."

"Makes what hard?"

"There is a man requesting care for his children. I've been thinking, and I thought maybe it would be a nice experience for you, You can handle children, can't you?"

"You want me to leave?" His mouth was drawn into a pout, his eyes full of hurt and rejection,

"No! I'm just saying, it would be a nice experience."

"Children? I don't know about children." Feliciano shook his head. "I couldn't do it."

"Children can be wonderful!" He comforted, a little less than sincere. "Well, some children. They're well off, so they shouldn't give you too much trouble. Who knows, maybe you'll like life outside the abbey more than music…or pasta."

"That's impossible!"

"So, you'll do it?"

"Uh, how many are there?" He asked nervously.

"Seven."

"SEVEN?!"

"It will be a nice experience…"

"You think they're nice?"

"Probably."

"Oh. Well. Then. Okay." He shrugged. "I'll go."

"Would you like to know a bit about them?"

"Okay…"

Mother Arthur grabbed a piece of paper from the table, reading aloud. "Elizaveta, Matthew, Feliks, Ivan, Eduard, Toris and Raivis. All between ages five and sixteen. They're the children of widower Captain Ludwig von Trapp, and it's stated that you will address him formally. Think you can handle it?"

"Elizaveta, Feliks, Ivan, Eduard, Toris, Raivis and…"

"Matthew."

"Well, okay. I'll try."

"I bet you'll have a wonderful time. You seem like the type of person who would get along well with children." _Considering you act like one. _He thought to himself.

"Oh, I guess."

Feliciano wasn't so sure.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

_If you haven't noticed by now, this story isn't very nation oriented, if you know what I mean. I'm not using country names, and it has no historical reference/meaning. It's more about the characters than their countries._

_=)_

_-Alison_


	3. I Have Confidence

The poor, confused Feliciano awkwardly clutched his bag and guitar case, staring up at the only three people he really knew.

"But Mother, you only told me two and a half hours ago. Do I have to leave right now? I need to sleep on it, make sure this is what I…"

"Two and a half hours is plenty of time for thinking, child. Just go for a few months, and if you don't like it, you can come home to the abbey."

"A few months?! But Mother…"

"It's okay." Sister Alfred slapped his back and pulled him into a one armed hug. "It'll go by quick. Till then, have fun."

Sister Francis shoved him away. "_Au revoir, _Feliciano!" He laid a peck on both cheeks, holding him in an "affectionate" embrace. His hands "slipped", and he "accidentally" made another "affectionate" gesture.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Mother Arthur yanked them apart. "DID YOU HONESTLY HAVE TO GROPE HIM AT THE TRAIN STATION?!"

"I was just being friendly, _salaud._" He stuck his nose in the air in an offended manner.

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!"

"_Salaud._ I believe the English term is bastard." The corners of his lips were upturned in a smug smile.

"YOU FUCKING WANKER! I OUGHT TO…" He trailed off, his eyes flaming. He'd realized what a scene they'd been making, as all eyes were staring confusedly at the three swearing nuns and the wannabe.

Feliciano, embarrassed, boarded his train in silence, waving half-heartedly at the group. "Ciao." His voice fell flat of it's usually peppy tone, instead coated with a shaking fear and anxiety.

As he sat down in an empty seat, he recalled a list of things he'd been told to remember; children cannot be bribed with pasta, sleep with clothes on or you'll end up arrested-

"Hi!"

He was interrupted by a small boy who sat down beside him.

"I'm Peter. What's your name?"

"Feliciano."

"That's a nice name. What are you on the train for?"

He shrugged. "I guess I'm going to watch little kids."

"Oh really? My dad and his wife Tino put me on the train and told me to go far away, so I am." The boy smiled as though this was the most normal thing in the world. "I'll keep going until I have no money left for the train."

"Then what?"

"I guess I'll walk home."

"Oh, that makes sense." He nodded, grabbing tighter to his belongings as the train sputtered into motion.

"Doesn't it?" The little boy helped him, keeping the guitar case upright. "You play?"

Feliciano nodded happily.

"That's so cool!" Peter was quite interested, staring at the case and day-dreaming. "Maybe if I played the guitar, people would treat me like a grown-up."

"Nobody treats me like a grown-up, and I am one."

"Oh, so some of us are always stepped on!" His smashed his fist into the palm of his hand. "Taken for granted, belittled, MISTREATED!" He was angry now, ready to start a riot. "That's just not FAIR!"

"I guess."

"'I _guess_'?" He mocked. "Where's your strength, determination?"

"…"

The boys face lit as though he had an elaborate plan to change the world. "Someday, they'll all see, Feliciano. We'll be the grown-ups, they'll respect us. They'll all see." His eyes darted to the window, still looking angry and powerful. "They'll all see."

The Italian nodded his head in fear of the child's wrath and listened to him babble for the rest of the ride.

"It was nice to meet you!" Peter said as the man seated next to him rose to get off. The boy stood, letting himself be passed.

"It was nice meeting you too!" Feliciano waved to him as he dragged his luggage behind.

He almost tripped on his way off, and he was almost knocked over in the stampede of people zipping away to get places. They were not people like him, they were not people who actually admired the blueness of the sky or the greeness of the grass. So he continued along, despite best efforts, feeling alone and unwanted.

He stopped briefly to learn which direction the von Trapp home was, and he began to press down a dusty dirt road that he was told would lead him to the front door of the house.

Several pairs of eyes followed the skipping young man who was donning a dress until he went out of sight.

"_What will this day be like? I wonder._

_What will my future be? I wonder."_

He let out a huff of anxious air before continuing.

"_It could be so exciting to be out in the world, to be free_

_My heart should be wildly rejoicing_

_Oh, what's the matter with me?"_

"_I've always longed for adventure_

_To do the things I've never dared_

_And here I'm facing adventure_

_Then why am I so scared?"_

Feliciano swung himself in a circle for dramatic effect, but due to the laws of physics, his luggage kept moving when he stopped. The result was his arms swung at odd angles, and the weight of his guitar knocked him over.

"Ow!" He squeaked, head sore. He lay flat on his back, staring up at the summer sky, his belongings on his chest.

It took several moments for him to return to his feet to keep going, and he was convinced his fall was a clear sign from God this whole affair was a bad idea. He placed one foot in front of the other cautiously, his body stiff as though he was trying to keep from getting knocked over again.

"_Oh, I must stop this little doubts, all these worries_

_If I don't I just know I'll turn back_

_I must dream of the things I am seeking_

_I am seeking the…_VE!_"_

He stopped in his tracks to observe the large mansion before him. It was almost surprisingly so, a house that could house fifty children, let alone seven. The marble was cut and shined perfectly, and the grounds were immaculate. It seemed as though somebody had gotten on their hands and knees and measured out every blade of grass so they were all one length. Feliciano found little sense in that, he believed grass to be the prettiest when it was long and swaying, imitating the look of uncooked pasta. Without a doubt, they were the most flawless house and yard he had ever encountered, but they lacked a friendly, personal element.

He puffed out his chest, a firm look on his face, suddenly overcome with courage.

"_I have confidence in pasta!" _He stormed toward the door. _"I have confidence in…" _He swallowed, watching as a tall, threatening looking child peered at him from a window._ "pain." _

"_I have confidence that spring will come again_

_OH, WHO AM I KIDDING! I HAVE NO CONFIDENCE IN ME!"_

He knocked, practically fainting on the doorstep.

"May I help you?" A dark eyed man met his gaze. "Oh, never mind. I know who you are. Come in."

"Are you the-"

"Captain? No. But I'll go get him for you miss. My name is Kiku, I'm the von Trapp butler."

"My name is Feliciano, and I'm the von Trapp governess." He picked up his case and bag, oblivious to the fact that he had just been mistaken for a woman.

"Don't get attached to the idea. You won't last long." The man gestured for him to follow.

However, the Italian was too taken back by the vast entry hall to notice. "THIS PLACE IS HUGE!" His bright voice disturbed the calm.

"I suppose you'll stay here, then?" Kiku sighed. "Very well, I'll be back in a moment." He made no sound as he exited.

All the man could do was stare. The house was absolutely gorgeous, and it was clear no expense had been spared in anything. It was magnificent, but too clean cut, it was impossible to tell that an actual family inhabited it. The furniture was all coordinated, and there was no touch of anything to the grey atmosphere.

It was then that crisp, precise footsteps made their way closer.

He brought his attention down from the ornate ceiling to two men approaching him.

"Miss Feliciana has arrived." The butler walked beside who must have been the Captain.

"Actually, my name is Feliciano."

"Oh, excuse me." He found that a very strange name for a woman.

"Fraulein Feliciano?" The Captain spoke, slightly amused. He was muscular and frightening, his icy blue eyes seemed to be scrutinizing every aspect of the strange young man. "Is that what you wished to be called, boy?"

He shrugged, mainly because he hadn't a clue what "Fraulein" meant.

"Boy?" Kiku turned to him, whispering. "I thought he was a woman?"

The Captain rolled his eyes, retrieving a whistle from inside his coat. "Very well, _Fraulein._" He sneered, keeping a perfect military stance as he beckoned the boy forward. "Your purpose here is simple: supervise the children. They're a well behaved bunch, something I take great pride in. I have no idea why so many governesses have quit before you." He laid the whistle to his frowning lips. "I'll call them down." After releasing seven distinct chirping patterns, seven children began marching in a row down the grand staircase.

"Why didn't you just say their names?" Feliciano asked under his breath.

"What was that?!" The Captain growled. He must not have really expected an answer, because his first sentence was quickly followed. "I will take no lip, no trouble, no _anything _from those who work for me. If you do not understand that, you may take your belongings and leave, Fraulein."

A couple of the children smirked, enjoying the display.

When there was no word from the Fraulein, he continued with the introductions. He called each child forward with their whistle pattern, beginning with the oldest, the only daughter.

"I'm Elizaveta and I'm sixteen. You'd better not underestimate me, or you're in for a big surprise. I don't need anyone to watch me like I'm a child." Her voice was harsh and arrogant, her emerald eyes burning.

"Not to say I'm mean or anything, but you're probably just better off leaving me alone." She flipped her light brown hair behind her shoulders and returned to her place in line.

Her father shook his head in annoyance, calling the next child forth.

"I'm Matthew and I'm fourteen. I really don't have as much to say as my sister." He blushed, and adjusted his glasses, drawing back. He held close to a white bear, making him seem innocent and childlike.

"Matthew, you are far too old for that thing! Dragging toys around the house." The Captain tsked. "I won't put up with it for much longer." He blew again.

"I'm Feliks and I'm thirteen. Just like, leave me alone too." He huffed, still eyeing the new governess warily. But behind his look of annoyance and distrust, he seemed to be planning something.

The next child could not have been a child. He was taller than Feliciano (who recognized him as the child in the window), and could have quite easily crushed him in his massive arms. But he looked like a child, and behaved perfectly like one. In fact, he seemed to be the kindest of them all. "I'm Ivan and I'm eleven. I think you and I are going to be friends." His violet eyes widened as he smiled. "And don't listen to what Toris and Raivis say about me, they're just little kids, they like to make up stuff." His eyes remained wide, fixated only on Feliciano.

"Can you like, stop that? You're freaking me out." Feliks said to his younger brother, apparently a little afraid.

Ivan, instead of ignoring him, turned to stare at him. "Is _this _better?"

Feliks found it difficult to look away from the hypnotic gaze. He visibly grew more uncomfortable until they were interrupted.

"Boys…" The Captain's voice revved up like he planned on shouting if they didn't stop. When he was met with cooperation he continued the process.

"I'm Eduard and I'm ten." He looked Feliciano over from behind his glasses, thoroughly examining him. "That's a pretty ugly dress. The ugliest I've ever seen."

"I…" He grabbed fistfuls of his dress, offended.

"Eduard!" His father shot an angry look in his direction.

"I'm sorry Father, but it _is_ an ugly dress. It's illogically so."

"I agree it's hideous, but you aren't allowed to speak to adults like that."

"Fine Father." He hugged his book tightly to his chest.

The second to last child was called, and he reluctantly stepped forward.

"I'm Toris and I'm seven." He shifted his weight awkwardly from foot to foot. "I…don't have anything to say. Um, my favorite color is pink."

"That's my favorite color too!" Feliciano grinned, finally feeling at ease.

The Captain rubbed his temples, his eyes shut as though he didn't want to watch this strange scene unfolding before him. He brought the whistle to his mouth and blew the final combination.

Nobody moved.

After a moment of silence, Toris spoke up, grabbing the smallest child's hand. "He's not going to say anything, Father. I'll do it for him." He coaxed his blond brother forward, trying to ease his shaking. "This is Raivis and he's five. He doesn't say much, so just get used to it."

Surprisingly, the Captain tolerated this substitution, and his eyes seemed a bit softer when he looked at the two youngest of his children. "You are free to return to your rooms. And Matthew, you'd better get rid of that bear."

The children disbanded into several groups and walked rather orderly up the staircase.

The Italian had been too quiet for too long. "You have nice children, Ludwig."

Kiku couldn't help but smile at the fatal mistake.

"Did you call me Ludwig?" He began coolly, not making eye contact.

"Yes…"

"You are not to call me that. You call me "Captain," that's it." He didn't seem to be getting any angrier, much to Feliciano's relief. "I'll see you at dinner." He turned and began to walk away as though each of his footsteps had been perfectly planned.

The butler remained, watching the moment in silence. "You should probably get to your room." He muttered as a woman came near.

"Hello." She smiled at the pair. "Are you Feliciano?"

His head rose and fell in a quick nod.

"Alright, want help?" She began to reach for his bag.

"Uh, sure."

"So, you've met Kiku? Well then, I'm Yekaterina, the housekeeper." She heaved up the bag and flashed another smile. "So, your going to be the governess? I wish you luck, few governesses make it past a month. The von Trapp children are…an interesting group. Just watch your back."

Feliciano began to follow, holding on to his guitar.

"Dinner's in an hour." She placed his bag on the bed. "I hate to seem rude, but wear the nicest thing you have. That dress certainly doesn't make the greatest impression." She tucked a stray piece of hair behind her hair and started to leave.

"Yekaterina?"

"Yes?"

"What's wrong with the Captain?"

She sighed in a manner similar to the butler and shook her head. "There's nothing wrong with him. It's quite tragic, actually. He went off to war and witnessed disgusting sights at a young age, even though he did return home a hero. Then he marries and starts a family, only to lose his wife and be left with seven children. He's a strict man, his order is the only reason he hasn't lost his mind."

He had never really encountered tragedy himself, so he simply agreed. "Sad, yes."

She nodded and began to leave. "His children are crying for attention, it's all just awful."

After she had left, Feliciano silently vowed to brighten the house.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

_Again, I didn't use the full lyrics. I don't think I will for many of the songs._

_Also, I just HAD to add in a scene on the train. I love Sealand, and I had to put him in somewhere after it was decided he wasn't going to be one of the children._

_I'm pretty sure a governess is a woman, but I honestly don't care xD_

_I hope to have a forth chapter up sometime this weekend. =)_

_-Alison _


	4. Sixteen Going On Seventeen

Dinner proceeded exactly an hour later, as promised. Unfortunately for the Italian governess, he arrived seven minutes off schedule.

"You are late!" The frightening blond man growled.

"Ve!" He jumped at the aggressive tone. "I was trying to make myself look nice…" His face fell shyly as he strode over to an empty seat.

"There's no excuse! Both mealtimes and bedtimes are strictly observed! And this," He speared some salad menacingly. "is a mealtime! Now, do you understand me?"

Feliciano nodded.

"Don't just nod, you are to say 'Yes, Captain!'"

"Yes, Captain!" He repeated. He even threw in an awkward salute, much to the amusement of the children.

"Sit." The Captain returned to his food.

The command was being obeyed when- "VE!" Feliciano jumped back up almost immediately, holding a faucet pipe that had been laying on his chair."…Mmm?" He cocked his head like a confused child.

The table erupted into laughter, save for the frustrated Captain and confused prank victim. The children all stared at the object, whispering how "fun" this governess was going to be.

A fist met the table, accompanied by a booming voice. "I WILL SEND ALL YOU CHILDREN TO BED WITHOUT SUPPER!"

This caught their immediate attention, and everyone resumed silently picking at their food, avoiding eye-contact.

After several moments of quiet, Feliciano chirped in. "You're a very nice group of children! I think that we're going to get along well. In fact, I've never met nicer children than you. Well, I haven't met very many children, but still, you're nice. No, I didn't really know many-"

"That is _ENOUGH!_" The Captain stood up, prepared to shout some more.

"Sir, I hate to interrupt you, but you have an urgent telegram." Kiku was in the doorway, as calm and expressionless as ever.

"A telegram." Elizaveta whispered under her breath, eyes widening.

He walked to retrieve the paper, but not before glaring at his dinner company. A moment after reading, his face softened. He even smiled a little. "My children, I shall be leaving in the morning."

"Where to, Father?" Eduard looked up innocently.

"Nosy little boy…" He huffed. "I'm going to visit Yao."

"Like, I _totally _knew you would say that." Feliks rolled his emerald eyes and swung his legs over his chair.

The Captain rolled his eyes in a manner similar to his son's and continued. "I'm bringing him back, so it will be a very short trip."

"That's nice. We'll finally get to meet him." Toris forced a smile, trying to be polite.

Raivis nodded. "Very nice."

"I'm bringing Antonio home as well." He added with a smirk.

"Uncle Antonio!" The children cried out unanimously. There were many bright expressions and nods.

Amongst it all, a certain sixteen-year-old snuck away from the table and out into the yard.

The night was cool, and Elizaveta's dinner dress caught the wind as she hurried to a tree where a boy was waiting for her.

"Roderich!" She tackled him, almost knocking him to the ground.

"Darling!" He smiled shyly as he searched for the glasses that had fallen from his face. When he'd found them and placed them back on, he drew the girl into a loving embrace. "Oh, how I've missed you."

She smiled as sweet and ladylike as she could. "I don't think we can wait for Father to get telegrams."

They shared a quick laugh as they linked arms. Elizaveta leaned against the boy as they walked in the evening air.

"So, how has my dear lady been?" He dusted off the garden bench for her to sit.

"Life is so…boring." She sighed, flopping onto the bench.

He sat as well, looking concerned. "You can't really mean that, Elizaveta."

"I do. I never go anywhere." She complained. "And I miss you, that's the worst part." She reached for his hand sadly. "I miss you so much."

"Life won't always be like this." He kissed each of her fingertips and placed her hand on his face. "Someday." He said simply.

"'Someday' what?"

He stood, looking embarrassed. "I've always thought…" He stopped, looking like he would choke.

"Thought what?" She jumped up, curious.

"I've always thought…someday we'll be married." He turned to see her reaction, expecting a sharp slap.

"Roderich Edelstein, are you proposing to me?" She smiled slightly, staring off into space as though she could see the future.

"Well, I don't have a ring yet and you'll have to wait a few years…but yes." He began to look insanely nervous. "Unless, well, you don't want…me"

She huffed, shaking her head in amusement. "Of course." She grinned as she sank into his arms.

"Elizaveta." He stroked her hair and held her close.

"_You wait, little girl,_

_On an empty stage_

_For fate to turn the light on"_

"_Your life, little girl,_

_Is an empty page_

_That men will want to write on"_

He smiled calmly at her surprised expression, holding her an arms length away.

"_To write on." _She added sweetly.

"_You are 16 going on 17_

_Baby it's time to think_

_Better beware_

_Be canny and careful_

_Baby you're on the brink" _

"_You are 16 going on 17_

_Fellows will fall in line_

_Eager young lads_

_And roués and cads _

_Will offer you food and wine"_

He led her further away from the house, her hand laying in his. He took rhythmic strides and continued.

"_Totally unprepared are you_

_To face a world of men_

_Timid and shy and scared are you _

_Of things beyond your ken"_

"_You need someone_

_Older and wiser_

_Telling you what to do_

_I am 17 going on 18 _

_I'll take care of you"_

"Take care of me? You seem to forget when I saved you from a certain nun who almost…"

"Yeah, yeah, you don't need to bring that back up."

"So you think I'm just some delicate little flower that can't even defend herself?"

He exhaled a long breath, closing his eyes in concentration. Just as he had seemed to have prepared a reply; she spoke.

"Men." She muttered. "If anything, you need women to keep you in line. Take care of you." She smiled slightly, wagging her finger, eventually laying it on the tip of the boy's nose.

He blinked several times as she drew him close.

"_I am 16 going on 17_

_I know I'm not naive_

_Fellows I meet may tell me I'm sweet_

_And cautiously I agree"_

"_I am 16 going on 17, innocent as a rose_

_Bachelor dandies_

_Drinkers of brandies_

_I know a lot of those"_

Her voice leveled to a whisper in his ear. "It's you I'm worried about."

He looked rather confused, but enjoyed being close all the same.

She proceeded to break away, and she began to step around him as though he were an exhibit or spectacle.

"_Totally unprepared are you_

_To face a world of men_

_Timid and shy and scared are you _

_Of things beyond your ken"_

"_You need someone_

_Better and wiser_

_Telling you what to do_

_You are 17 going on 18 _

_I'll take care of you"_

He looked blank until a small, controlled grin conquered his lips. "My Elizaveta."

"The one and only." She pressed her smile onto his.

Although he tried not to let it come, a scarlet blush dusted his cheeks as he adjusted the glasses on his face. He regained his composure and nodded. "Well, I have other stops to make. I-I'll see you next time, dear." He pecked her cheek and turned to leave.

"Wait! When is next time, Roderich?"

"Soon." He leaned back and kissed her on the mouth, even though he couldn't hide his shyness.

She laughed. "Why so scared?"

"If your father found out…"

"He doesn't pay enough attention to care." She said sadly, looking at the private lake off the estate. "He doesn't care, period." She returned her gaze to him. "It's starting to rain." She noted the small drops that had begun to tap against the earth. "Go on, I don't want the most handsome boy in all of Austria to get soaked."

He broke into an unrestrained smile. "Nor do I want that to happen to the most beautiful lady in all the world." He took her hand and they began to walk back to the mansion.

______________________________________________________________________________

_Sorry this took so long! Been having computer trouble :/_

_I hope to post the next chapter in a few days, but I make no promises._

_Heehee, I had so much fun writing Hungary/Austria =) (Even if I think I wrote them somewhat OOC)_

_-Alison_


	5. My Favorite Things

Feliciano danced his way across his new room after dinner. After finally settling a bit, he knelt before his bed to pray.

"God bless Ludwig -er- the Captain, Elizaveta, Feliks, Ivan…even though he's a strange boy…, Eduard, Toris and Raivis. Wait! That's only six children! Um~ what's his name? Well, God bless what's-his-name! I hope I'll be a good governess to them! They seem very nice, even though bad things happen whenever I'm near them. It must be magic. LIKE MOTHER ATHUR'S MAGIC! Anyways, God, I thank you for pasta. Amen~"

Elizaveta slid in through the window, sopping wet. Although she tried to sneakily slip past the babbling Italian, things did not go as planned.

"Ve!" He scrambled over his bed, trembling. "A ghost! A ghost came in the window! I'm sorry, ghosty! Don't hurt me! You're from the Afterlife, right? I've got family there! I'M SORRY!" His hands flew in front of his crying face as he screamed, as though if he couldn't see the ghost, it couldn't see him.

The girl angrily clasped her hand over his open mouth. "It's me, Fraulein."

He perked up at this news, obviously relieved. "Oh, you, Elizaveta. I thought you were a ghost. There were LOTS of ghosts at the abbey; Sister Alfred and I were always running from them! They'd show up everywhere. Poor Sister Alfred would have heart attacks. And you know what's worse? Mother Arthur would laugh at him, isn't that mean? He'd laugh and tease Sister Alfred when he was SCARED! Then he'd-"

She interrupted him, laughing and wringing out her dress. "You're so cute. You have nothing to say, but you talk so much."

"Thank you!" He replied whole-heartedly.

Her voice rose again in a giggle, but she suddenly grew serious. "You're to tell no one about this, understand?"

"What were you doing?"

The question was spoken with such innocence; she couldn't help but reply.

"I went for a walk. Alone."

"Really? Alone in the pouring rain?" That's so sad!"

"Well… I wasn't… alone." She finally choked out. "I was with a boy." Her face twisted in something reminiscent of longing.

"Oh, that's sweet! Are you in love?" He sat on the edge of his bed like a child awaiting a bedtime story.

Her eyes met his widened ones. "Yes. I am."

"That's so cute!" He grinned, practically squealing.

She nodded. "But, please, tell no one." Her voice was soft and pleading.

He motioned locking his mouth and throwing away the key. "Your secret's safe with me."

"Thank you. Goodnight, Fraulein Feliciano." She crept out the door.

A crash of thunder shook the house, leaving Feliciano whimpering. He didn't _HAVE_ to turn out the light. Huddling under a blanket, he buried his head in a pillow. His breathing evened as he relaxed, but he still jumped at the rumbling claps.

"Help us!" A child squeaked, darting into the room with another child in tow.

"VE! MORE GHOSTYS!" He stared briefly at the source of the cry before realizing his mistake. "Oh! You're just children!"

Said children made a mad-dash to the almost stranger, hiding under the covers beside him.

"Toris, Raivis, are you afraid of the storm too?"

They shook their heads furiously as the blonde pointed to the doorway. "No, that."

As if on cue, lightning flashed. "Hello. There you are, brothers." The tallest von Trapp child (despite being only eleven) advanced. "I tried to calm them, Fraulein. But storms _do_ scare small children."

The two boys clung to the Italian, crying into his shirt.

"W-w-well, we can all stay in h-h-here now." Toris stuttered.

Raivis nodded in agreement.

"I'm sure Fraulein wants to go to sleep. But, don't worry. I'm always willing to comfort my little brothers. I'll protect you." He began to pry the brunette up. "My, my. You're _very _scared of the storm, da? Just come with me." He softly muttered a "kolkolkolkol" when the boy showed himself to be firmly rooted to the bed.

"Yes, maybe you should leave! No offense, but your daddy's kind of scary! I don't want to make him mad at me!"

"PLEASE!" Raivis, his violet eyes much too large for such a round little face.

Without letting go of the older child, the silver blond boy simply smiled, leaning in too close for the squirming Raivis' comfort. "You will listen to your brother. After all, I only want the _best _for you."

"YOU GET YOUR HANDS OFF LIET, OR I'LL MAKE YOUR CAPITAL WARSAW!" Another one of the VERY strange von Trapp children made quite a dramatic entrance, flinging a finger accusingly at his brother.

He tightened his hold on the child. "Ah, Feliks. You've brought Eduard up with you as well, da?"

"Yes." He yawned, pushing up his glasses. "I could be in bed reading. Can you please just do what Feliks says? You know how he is."

"But Eduard, I was only trying to comfort our younger brothers. If you'd like, I could comfort you too."

The house shook again. "Ve! I don't like storms. At least at the abbey Sister Francis would cuddle with me when there was one! He'd be nice and not even wear clothes so I'd be warmer!"

"You want us to… take off our clothes…?" Raivis' eyes seemed to be inhumanly large.

"No!!! That's not what I meant!" He shook his head, embarrassed.

The children all seemed relieved…

"Well, perhaps we should all go to bed now." Ivan had successfully lifted Toris, although he was holding him upside-down.

Another roll of thunder resulted in: "VE! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME NOW! THIS IS A REALLY LOUD STORM! AND-AND… WHAT IF THERE'S SOMETHING OUTSIDE AND I WON'T HEAR IT BECAUSE OF THE RAIN! IT COULD BE A MAFIA MEMBER!"

"What's going on in here?" Elizaveta poked a head in the door, her hair still wet from her little walk.

"Well, there's like, a thunderstorm, right? And Ivan was picking on everybody (because that's just sooooo like him), and now the governess is like, having a panic attack over the storm." Feliks folded his arms, huffing.

"O…kay?"

"You should join us, da, sister?" He dropped Toris back on the bed.

She resisted the strong urge to shudder. "Um, pass."

"Elizaveta…" Raivis looked to his older sister, a look of "SAVE ME!" on his small face.

"Oh, I guess…" The girl awkwardly sat down on the edge of the bed, wrapping an arm around the boy.

A silence followed. An empty, awkward, silent silence.

"So… You'd look ADORABLE with that Peter kid who lives in town!" The only girl broke the quiet.

"What…?" A blush rose to Raivis' cheeks.

"You would!" She insisted.

It seemed impossible, but the silence became even more awkward.

"You know what would make this better?!" Feliciano seemed oblivious to how uncomfortable the atmosphere in the room was.

"Hmm?" The children responded to the man's enthusiasm.

"PASTA!" His shoulders drooped. "But we can't have pasta right now. WE CAN SING ABOUT PASTA!"

"What if we don't like pasta?" Several of the children yawned.

"WHAT?! DON'T LIKE PASTA?!" He was horrified; such talk was blasphemy! "What is wrong with you children?"

They shrugged.

"Well…" He began sadly, obviously devastated. "We can just sing about all our favorite things, then!"

"Like what?"

"Umm, well… there's waving my white flags… and whiskers on kittens!" He thought for a moment.

"_Eating good pasta and food that's not Britain's_

_Pretty young ladies that aren't wearing rings"_

"Why without rings?" Eduard interrupted.

"Because, if they have rings, they're probably married! And if I flirt with married girls-" His face was pinched in fear. "THEIR HUSBANDS MIGHT _HIT ME!"_

"Oh, okay. Logical." He nodded.

"_These are a few of my favorite things!" _

He emerged from the covers, much to the terror of Toris and Raivis.

"Don't leave us alone by him!" Toris pleaded, eyes on his smiling brother.

Feliciano climbed out of the bed anyways.

"_Cream colored pasta and drawing my doodles._

_Pasta and pasta and PASTA with noodles!_

_Screaming "DON'T HURT ME!" and a few other things_

_These are a few of my favorite things!"_

Now the children were HIGHLY amused. Even Eduard was smiling. This naïve, grinning Italian was enchanting them all!

"_When the nuns fight! _

_When the bee stings!_

_When I'm feeling sad!_

_I simply remember my favorite things!_

_And then I don't feel so bad!"_

"This is like, a lot of fun!" Feliks scooped the two smallest boys and skipped about. "Let's keep going!"

"Well!" Feliciano clapped his hands. "What are your favorite things?"

"Frying pans!"

"Information technology!"

"Sunflowers!"

"Like, glittered hairclips!"

"Italian governesses!" Toris added happily.

"Piano playing telegram delivery boys!"

"Vodka!"

"Teddy bears!" At last, the shy Raivis shouted.

"Maple syrup!"

…

"Who said that?! HOW MANY GHOSTYS LIVE IN THIS HOUSE?!"

"Relax. It's me."

All the eyes in the room followed the sound to a figure slumped in the corner.

Feliks gasped. "Matthew, how long have you been here?"

"I came in with Elivaveta. Don't you remember?"

"No…"

Matthew smiled anyhow, hugging tighter to his ever-present stuffed bear. "Didn't notice me, eh?"

"Sorry, I didn't either." Elizaveta admitted.

Feliciano put a hand on his head in embarrassment. "Matthew~ That's the one I forgot! God bless Matthew!" He shouted to the ceiling. "Anyhow!" He took Eduard's hands and spun him until they fell down dizzily. The room erupted into laughter.

"_Waving my white flags and whiskers on kittens_

_Eating good pasta and food that's not Britain's_

_Pretty young ladies that aren't wearing rings_

_These are a few of my favorite things!_

_Cream colored pasta and drawing my doodles._

_Pasta and pasta and PASTA with noodles!_

_Screaming "DON'T HURT ME!" and a few other things_

_These are a few of my favorite things!"_

The room was alive with giggles and dancing as he continued.

"When the- VE!" He stumbled back a few feet, unable to remove his attention from the angry face before him. "Captain! How are you?"

"I thought," He snarled. "I made myself clear when I said bedtimes are strictly observed."

"But…"

"But what?! You're incompetent?! Is that it?!" He moved his stone gaze from the man to his children, who instinctively lined up.

"But… we were having fun!" He seemed to believe this excuse would make everything better.

"Is that so?"

He nodded excitedly.

"Well, what are you standing around for? March back to your rooms!" The father waved his children away.

The children did so, softly mumbling "Goodnight, Father. Goodnight, Fraulein Feliciano." as they went.

"Ve, Captain Ludwig, why do you shout so much?" He looked up with warm brown eyes, honestly curious.

"To keep order." He said firmly. "You shouldn't even question me, you know."

"Why not?"

He groaned angrily. "There you go, questioning me again! Look, Fraulein; what I say goes. Do you understand?"

Although he didn't, he nodded. "Can I please ask you one question?"

The former military captain rubbed his temples. "No."

He asked anyways. "How come you never smile?"

"Wha-what?"

"The whole time I've been here, you haven't smiled once."

He frowned even more deeply (If that was possible)."Goodnight, Fraulein Feliciano." He started for the door.

"But you didn't answer my question~"

"GOODNIGHT." He slammed it behind him.

The young man seemed defeated, falling back unto his bed. He couldn't contain the warm tears that had started to drip down his cheeks.

_Why does he have to be so mean? Can't he see it makes his children sad? I don't want to be here anymore. I'll tell them that in the morning and go home. Home to the abbey with Mother Arthur and Sister Francis and Sister Alfred…_

But, no! He got the most brilliant idea as he slipped once again under the covers.

And Feliciano rarely had brilliant ideas.

He'd stay in the von Trapp household.

He'd make everyone happier; even if it took TONS of pasta and singing.

He'd even get the Captain to smile.

* * *

_So, there you go. I've owed you guys this for…over a month. I have no excuse other than I was lazy and had writers block._

_My awesome friend Rae-chan contributed to these rewritten lyrics, btw :)_

_I'm going to continue this…I hope._

_So…CONTINUE THIS CRACKY ADVENTURE WITH ME!_

_-Lissa_


	6. Of Nuns and Nazis

_Well, this is what I believe you would call a filler~ The next chapter is uncompleted on my laptop...which is't working. I didn't want to rewrite what I already have, but I wanted to do an update since I now have access to a computer. This was originally going to be the end of the next chapter...but oh well! As you can tell, it isn't actually from the plot, I just made it up! But I will be deviating from the actual story line again in the future._

_I don't own Hetalia or The Sound of Music. Nor do I own **Spazzkitty**, to whom this is dedicated. ^.^_

_

* * *

_

"Yo, Mom!" Sister Alfred tossed open the door without so much as a faint knock.

"I've told you not to call me that countless times! So just leave me alone, you bloody wanker!"

"Calm down, I come in peace! I was just talking to Sister Francis, and I got to thinking..." He trailed off, an almost wistful expression on his face.

"What?!"

"...Well, maybe we should let Feliciano come home. It's been a week, and I miss the little guy. Those kids have probably eaten him alive. I mean, what were you thinking letting him go? He can't survive out there!"

The Mother scoffed. "He's fine. You just want a reason to bother me. Now, go back to whatever you were doing. And while you're at it, can you double check to make sure Sister Vash isn't hiding any guns again?"

"No. I'm not leaving." Alfred said firmly, suddenly walking so close to the desk Arthur was sitting at that their noses were touching. "I have other things I want to talk about."

"I figured, git." Surprisingly, he laid a hand to the side off the other's face.

"KISSHIMKISSHIMKISSHIM-oh-YESSSSS~" The eldest Von Trapp squealed from her position in a tree. As she watched the nuns, she wondered if her siblings and governess would notice her absence. But she so often disappeared, they had to be used to it. Lately, she'd been stalking these two particular male nuns who had the most...interesting...of relations. One moment, the taller blonde was being beaten upon by the smaller, and the next, they were pressing each other against a wall and kissing passionately. Yes...interesting...

"Alfred, do you hear something?"

"Outside the window?...Yeah, actually. You hear it too?"

"It sounds like something can't breathe...an animal, perhaps?"

Just when she thought she would pant until it affected her oxygen levels, she slipped the slightest bit and went crashing to the ground.

"Oww..." She moaned in pain.

"Sounds like whoever's out there just fell." Alfred unlatched the window. "Hey! Who the hell's out there?! You shouldn't be here! This is private property!"

"You idiot! The church isn't private property!"

Rather than have a conversation with the people she (frequently) spied on, Elizaveta scrambled back into town. She pushed through a crowd, running as fast as she could from her...entertainment. After shoving several people aside, she stumbled upon someone she was quite pleased to see. "Roderich!"

He looked down at the girl hugging his waist and gently nudged her away. "Please...not here."

"What's wrong?" She was puzzled and hurt with the way he was simply shrugging her off. He was usually much more affectionate, more of a gentleman. "Haven't you missed me?"

"Of course...but I can't really explain..why...I...Just. Let's hope your father doesn't get into any trouble now."

"Why, what's going on?"

"I can't...tell you." He turned away, strain in his usually unreadable face. "I just hope nothing happens..."

She tilted his face towards her. "Don't worry about my father. He hasn't done anything wrong."

"Yes, but he's so...Austrian."

"We're all Austrian." The girl giggled.

"Well, lots of people think we ought to be German. They're very mad at those who don't think so. In fact...they're getting ready to..." Roderich sighed deeply, as though he was speaking to a child about a matter they would never comprehend. "Be careful darling. I have to go." He stole a quick kiss on her cheek and hurried away.

As he was walking, she noticed for the first time he was wearing a uniform. _That_ uniform.

What was going on?

* * *

_I stole some lines right out of the movie XD_

_LE GASP! RODERICH'S GONE NAZI ON US!!!!~ :o_

_Hopefully the next real chapter will be up in a week or two. Hopefully._

_-Lissa_


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